Dustland fairytale beginning
Just another white trash
County kiss
Sixty one
Long brown hair and foolish eyes
Look just like you gone into some
Kind of slick chrome american prince
A blue jean serenade
Moon river what’d you do to be
But i don’t believe you

Some cinderella in a party dress but
She was looking for a night gown
I saw the devil warping up his hands
Hes getting ready for the show down
I saw the minute that i turn away
I got my money on a pond tonight

Change came in disguised of revelation
Set his soul on fire
She said she’d always knew he’d come around
And the decades disappear like sinking
Ships we persevere god gives us hope
But we still fear
We don’t know
The mind is poison castle in the sky
Sit stranded vandalized
The draw bridge is closing

Some cinderella in a party dress but
She was looking for a night gown
I saw the devil warping up his hands
Hes getting ready for the show down
I saw the ending were they turned the page
I threw my money and i ran away
Strait to the vally of the great divide

And were the dreams roll high
And were the wind dont blow
Out here the good girls die
And the sky wont snow
Out here the bird don’t sing
Out here the field don’t grow
Out here the bell don’t ring
Out here the bell don’t ring
Out here the good girls die

Now cinderella don’t you go to sleep
Its such a bitter form of refuge
Ahh don’t you know the kingdoms under siege
And everybody needs you
Is there still magic in the midnight sun
Or did you leave it back in sixty-one
In the of the cadence in the young mans eyes
And were the dreams roll high

[The Killers]

1. because I started it.

2. because I want to move on in life.

3. because it bores me (and thus will develop my patience-perseverance).

4. because it has good stuff in it that some people will be interested in reading.

5. because I want a job.

6. because/so I know I can do it. (I rock!)

7. because it is about time.

8. because people around me will get to know a nicer me.

9. because I need to in order to properly consider my next steps.

10. just like that

Erobique & Jacques Palminger – Songs For Joy
Song: Wann strahlst du?

Ich liebe die Träume,
Die Aufbruchsgeister,
die überall Samen erkennen.
Die Fehlschläge nicht so ernst nehmen
und immer das Gute benennen.

Nicht die, die die Zukunft auswendig kennen,
Begeisterung als Naivität anschauen.
Und dir ihre altbekannten Ängste
als Ratschläge verpackt um die Ohren hauen.

Ich schulde dem Leben das Leuchten in meinen Augen.
Wann strahlst du?
Ich schulde dem Leben das Leuchten in meinen Augen.
Wann strahlst du?

Ich liebe die, die einen Einfall ausprobieren.
Der Erfahrung ein Schnippchen schlagen.
Zwischen Misserfolgen heil hindurch schlängeln.
Und deren Augen leuchten, wenn sie fragen.

Nie die, die denken: Es lohnt sich doch nicht.
Die alles immer gewusst haben.
Die sagen: Wozu? Es macht doch keinen Unterschied.
Und ihre Neugierde mit Erfahrungen begraben.

Ich schulde dem Leben das Leuchten in meinen Augen.
Wann strahlst du?
Ich schulde dem Leben das Leuchten in meinen Augen.
Wann strahlst du?

Ich liebe die, die staunen können
über die Blume auf dem Schrott.
Die lieber im Jetzt, als im Morgen leben.
Und die einfach Austreten aus dem Trott.

Nicht die, die im Vielleicht und im Irgendwann
alle Energie vergraben.
Und sich mit grauem Trübsinn
ganz einbalsamiert haben.

Ich schulde dem Leben das Leuchten in meinen Augen.
Wann strahlst du?
Ich schulde dem Leben das Leuchten in meinen Augen.
Wann strahlst du?
Wann strahlst du?
Wann strahlst du?

watch more of it here.

i am up against a puzzle. exhausted as i am today, i have no real hope of ’solving’ it, my mind is woolly, i listen to this cool track that says ‘thou shalt not make repetitive generic music’ and i like the humour in the lyrics. i feel like i’ve been running in circles for the last four years. not a great feeling, but it might be better tomorrow.

so here goes:

so in my thesis, i am making an argument about what kinds of persons were successful in postsocialist romania, and how this worked in the context of eu integration and agricultural/rural livelihoods.

i keep coming back to this thing that also affects the cultures i’ve been living in, namely of the connection between the big ideas of ‘how to change so as to avoid disaster’ and the practice. and the gap in between. i desperately want to think relationally, but i think my brain is too limited.

- a culture of blame that deflects responsibility to the ‘top’ or sees impediment in the ‘bottom’. ‘they’ will not save us versus ‘they’ are the problem. replace ‘they’ by anything that you oppose to your own kind in terms of morality, e.g. the government, the lazy, the gypsy, the woman, the disabled, the child.

- i make some kind of argument with personhood, and how the way in which we think about persons and time and value is influenced by dominant models of individual/economic value/progress. i make an argument that this leads to exclusionary processes because of the categorical nature of boundary-making knowledge practices that classify into superior/inferior, etc.

here i run into major troubles. how do i reconcile the idea of progress which i do not entirely reject with the idea that exclusionary processes will happen?

i kind of want to take the relational epistemology very far, but i feel there is something here i am not getting. how can one minimise exclusionary processes in practice?

hm. the room is smoky from thinking, dear reader. help me out here. aaargh. better still, get me out of here… and let’s burn the thesis together.

this is the nicest word i’ve seen today. very tired. unconcentrated. body aching. why can the thesis not just go away?

“The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no tickertape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.” — Leo Buscaglia

so the song is by Reef – called ‘Consideration’ – listen to it here. 1997 was the year of my exchange to Australia. I discovered Reef then. Great band.

Kann es sein,

daß die Frage nach dem Taschentuch

seit jeher gar nicht das Taschentuch meint,

sondern die akute Einsamkeit des Menschen.

read herta müller’s nobel prize speech here.

the photo shows my favourite sculpture from the rodin museum in philadelphia.